this hoodie makes me street, yo

11/15/10

Of all the things I truly loathe about culture right now, none stands out quite as much as Justin Bieber’s hair. It’s that horrific wave of twee that crashes just above the eyebrows, followed by a nonsensical counter-swirl on the other side – creating, in me, truly a weather system of hate.

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It’s long enough to be ever-so-slightly rock and/or roll, but coiffed and subdued into radio-friendly submission. His hair lies to you. It promises an intensity that it will never deliver. It is focus-group tested, all interesting edges sawed off, and yet still manages to be so awful as to stop traffic.

The original haircut was really only done correctly by four people, and one of them did it the best:

JohnLennonCirca66(bl).jpg

Of course, with all this kvetching about Justin Motherscratchin’ Bieber, only one thing could happen: I woke up this morning, looked in the mirror, and realized I’d morphed into the enemy.

IanBieberHair(bl).jpg

0 thoughts on “this hoodie makes me street, yo

  1. Tanya

    oh how I HATE Justin B. and I have no reason to do so other than because of that ridiculous hair of his. Argh. But on you, it works. And also, so many people pay huge amounts to color their hair like yours. :)

    Reply
  2. kevin from NC

    Did you see SouthPark last week?.. they briefly ripped the boy…including a vicious death. I suspect you would have enjoyed it.

    Reply
  3. jje

    I quickly realized that hairdo is very popular with Charlotte Catholic High School boys volunteering at the recent elementary school fall festival. Some could pull it off. Others…well, bless their hearts…

    Reply
  4. Anne

    Ian, I love you for coining the phrase “horrific wave of twee”. I’m gonna borrow and use that one, with full attribution of course.
    Have you seen Tom Brady’s version? (I think actually it may be a little different now, but for a while… Oh dear.)

    Reply
  5. Greg T.

    Our 8-yr-old couldn’t agree with you more. Any time he sees Bieber he acts like it is physically painful and asks to be rescued from the torture of seeing him again.
    Seriously though, it is a good look for you.

    Reply
  6. ginat

    I was about to post about my 8 year old son’s loathing, and see that my husband, Greg T., beat me to the punch. We were in NYC last week, and every street photo-seller had tons of Bieber shots, and he gagged and protested loudly EVERY TIME he saw one. It was pretty funny, actually.

    Reply
  7. Neva

    Most men of our age would pay gobs to have that hair – Bieber style or otherwise.
    On another note, click on the url above to see my nephews and their lovely Bieber dos.

    Reply

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