just a boy and his porn-on-audio


We have been a single-car family in Los Angeles for almost five years, and if you know anything about being American and/or being in Los Angeles, you’ll recognize that as a feat of superhuman deprivation. By living in one of the few parts of town that allows for any sort of walking – and juggling our schedules like mad – we’ve pulled it off, but I’m here to tell you I’m throwin’ in the towel.

I finally began to feel extra trapped, you know… “fettered”… “bridled”, as it were. I need to exercise my god-given right as an erect phallus of Americanism to drive myself to Alaska at a moment’s notice. Not that I will, mind you, but I gotta have the option.

And so I’m driving our hybrid Ford Escape from upstate New York to California, starting right after Thanksgiving. I’m thinking of going this route, plus-or-minus 250 miles in either direction:


I’m pretty set on watching my beloved North Carolina Tar Heels play Illinois in Champaign, IL on November 30, so that’s a start. I want to see my brother Kent in Iowa City, The Chipper in Wichita. Will I be driving near any of you, or do you have suggestions? I’ve done this trip about 27 times, but always open to uprooting the tedium that accompanies our nation’s bloated midsection!

8 thoughts on “just a boy and his porn-on-audio

  1. kent

    I think 80 to Des Moines, 35 south to OKC and then west on 40 is good for several reasons:
    1. You go south of the weather. November isn’t as bad as e.g. Christmastime, but 70 through the mounts in Colorado & Utah is iffy driving. You can end up stuck at Stuckey’s for days.
    2. You can stop in Santa Fe and see notre oncle Charles.

  2. Deirdre

    If it fits into your plans, stay with us in Northern VA, 21 miles south of DC (fairfax, va). It’s about 5 hours from NYC. We have a comfy guest room and I’d love to catch up and have you meet the fam.

  3. C

    If this involves US-50 and US-6 through Nevada and US-395 along the eastern Sierra, then hell to the yes. If this involves I-15, then pfffft.

  4. Dan E

    I’d second Kent. Don’t go through Colorado or Utah, not this time of the year. Take this opportunity to check out the weirdness that is Western Kansas/Oklahoma/West Texas (you can say you’ve done it, and never have to do it again), then enjoy the beauty of New Mexico (side trip to Santa Fe too) and parts of Arizona.


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