i want an in-the-egg egg beater


Okay, so let me explain a few things so my flibbertigibbet-esque qualities make a little more sense:

• tomorrow morning, early, a “professional organizer” is coming to our house to rearrange my stuff. Yes, it has come to that. Normally, I would have no foreign hands mucking about with my power tools and T-25 star bit screws, but I have to admit, this house move has pushed even my normally-sanguine ideas of creative chaos into despondency. Tessa said it was time to hire the big guns, so I’m exercising and exorcising my control issues.

• we are flying to NYC on Sunday morning, early as shit, for the week of Lucy’s spring break. Normally, her kindergarten class would be rippin’ it up on Daytona Beach for SPRING BREAK-A-THON 2011!!!!!! but instead, I’m taking her to the Natural History museum to look at dinosaurs. New Yorkers, we will be there, so set your Interesting Conversation meters on “purée”!

• I – meaning my wife – may have found out a major theory behind my health issues after attending a conference over the weekend. I’ll expound on it after the weekend, but apparently there’s some blame being shifted onto a few of my mitochondria who aren’t pulling their weight.

• I have long longed for an automatic tire inflator that shuts off when it reaches a pre-set pressure. In other words, you dial your optimum PSI (say, 40) onto a air hose attachment, stick it on your tire, and it fills it up exactly to 40 PSI and then turns off. No more fiddling with a separate tire gauge, no frozen fingers covered in diesel, no more bullshit. And it looks like my prayers have been answered:


• I mean, it pays to dream big, don’t it?

0 thoughts on “i want an in-the-egg egg beater

  1. Eric G

    Yes, it does pay to dream big. I dreamed that Arizona would knock off Duke, and, to borrow a phrase from Roy Williams, dadgum it if it didn’t come true!

  2. Lee

    YES! And I’ve been wanting a digital library of practically all movie options since college and along comes Apple TV.\
    AND, I’ve wanted the tire pressure thingy, too! Gotta go get one.

  3. Greg

    I prefer the Goober Pyle method off kicking the tires. Cold fingers, pressure gauges, knees on asphalt? That’s bad enough even without the diesel.

  4. Anne

    1. I have been on a DIY organizing/decluttering kick now that I’m working at home. I SUCK at it! All my worst ADD tendencies trip me up every few minutes. I move stuff from one place to another, and, happily, some of it moves out to the car and thence to the Salvation Army. Right now almost the entire non-furniture contents of my office/sunroom are on, around, and under the dining room table. Gaahhhh! So I’m envious that you have an organizer to help you out. I’m still individually putting stray paper clips in a plastic box. Help me, Obi-wan Declutterer.
    2. Our 5 year old granddaughter is obsessed with dinosaurs, and she too is heading to NYC with her mom (my stepdaughter) to the Museum of Natural History. If you spot an extremely petite curly-headed girl wearing a dress (she won’t wear pants or jeans) and clutching a blue plush dinosaur, say, “Hi, Caroline! I know your Nana.”
    3. Please say more about the mitochondria. I can’t even remember what those little suckers DO. And I’m such a geek, I read the word first as “midichlorians,” which are the Jedi-making blood particles with which George Lucas desecrated the prequels. The Force is strong in you, Ian. Good luck.
    4. I wouldn’t know where to start putting air in my tires. That’s hubby’s job. How pre-feminist of me.

  5. Neva

    Love the new gadget. My prius dropped from 50 mpg to 43 not long ago and it was all b/c of tire air pressure. Now we’re back to 50 again with just a little more air.
    Looking forward to hearing about the mitochondria.
    Mitochondrial disorder has been on the (long) list of possible diagnoses for Meg.

  6. Neva

    Once again I have proven that knowing nothing about the NCAA improves your chances in your bracket Ian! Of course, none of us could predicted what we’ve got now but I cannot believe I’m at number one. Wow.


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