the nina, the pinta, the sumbitch or other


This is Columbus Day.

It’s the holiday in college known as Fall Break, where freshmen go back to their hometowns and suddenly get a fresh perspective on how small-minded and controlling their high school boyfriends are. They won’t break up. Yet. That happens on Thanksgiving.

This is Columbus Day.

A day that is supposed to be a holiday. All the services you count on will be closed. No mail, no bank. They’re all off work. Lots of people are. Lots of people except you.

This is Columbus Day.

A day named for a man who never came within 200 miles of the future United States. A man who swore – even on his deathbed – that he’d reached Asia. A holiday celebrating the dude who introduced slavery and pandemics to the New World. And when he was brought home after torturing the “Indians” as their governor, he sued the Spanish government!

This is Columbus Day. The leaves haven’t really changed yet, it might get muddy, and you didn’t make plans anyway. It’s the casserole of holidays, unsatisfying and a little confusing. A holiday you can’t use, celebrating a guy you can’t stand, at a time you can’t go anywhere. HAVE A GREAT ONE!