set pants to vibrate

1/29/12

Hi, it’s me. I don’t wanna be all “take the magic away” or anything, but… are we gonna have sex?

I mean, I’m COMPLETELY COOL if we’re not. And I’m not, like, trying to “own” you or anything, but I’ve been reading my psychology homework, you know? And this one study said “people who ask for what they want are 41% happier.” Or something. It’s not like I memorized it, but I’m pretty sure it was 41 percent.

We’ve been hanging out since Thanksgiving (well, a couple of days longer than that, if you count that thing on the bus) and I’m usually just, like, all about “lettin’ it come to me” and “keepin’ it free and easy”, right?

For one reason or another, keepin’ it free and easy has not led to your vagina. And I say that with respect, because I respect that it is closely guarded. I also say that with respect because my textbook says respect can lead to intimacy. With you, and… you know, your parts.

Sometimes I’m like “don’t play the game, man, just be SUPER HONEST and REAL!” and sometimes I’m like “the GAME is PART of it, dude… we’re all just crazy creatures on this spinning blue marble!”

I feel like I can be honest with you, because I’ve told you a lot of really deep stuff. And then you’ve told me a lot of really deep stuff back. And we’ve been hanging out since before Thanksgiving!

So I think it’d be totally boss to take this to the next level. Which I kinda suppose means down a level. Meaning I would be seeing your breasts, both of which I respect.

No pressure! Seriously, no pressure. I can SO TOTALLY PRETEND that we never talked about this and go back to before I said anything. Like completely back to normal. Back to, y’know, when I was still wondering if we were going to have sex.

Oh man, they’re making us turn off our cell phones. Calculus sucks. BYE!

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0 thoughts on “set pants to vibrate

  1. kevin from NC

    I am dating again these days… I will tell you it is different now as an adult than when I was all pimply faced but the questions remain the same. If you been dating her since before thanksgiving and you haven’t gone there yet, then I say you may to keep looking. HA! k

    Reply
  2. kent

    This is why I never had game. That and my physical appearance.
    This is a dance I never learned. I’ve always been mystified by the guys who just smile and cock an eyebrow and some girl goes home with them.
    I can so totally cock an eyebrow. Never really did the trick.
    I’m not complaining about how my love life has turned out, mind you. One way or another things worked out perfectly in the end.
    It’s just something like playing drums. I have friends who never took lessons, and as far as I know never really practiced, but they can sit down at a drum kit and be a decent first approximation of Clyde Stubblefield.
    Shit aint fair.

    Reply
  3. Ross

    Spoken like a true homosexual. Homos want all the benefits of the Bill of Rights, but are very careful who they want to enjoy the same rights. Homosexual lives are entirely centered on their sex life, as this shows here. There sex first and formost, then they might support others (mostly homosexuals)

    Reply

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