Seen today in Kailua, Oahu, Hawaii:
• unbelievably beautiful, completely normal mid-20s Hawaiian woman walking past me on main street who was SIX FOOT SIX at LEAST.
• two-dollar root beer malts at Teddy’s Bigger Burgers with extra malt
• total dork guy from 1977 walking home from library, with ponytail and thick black hoodie, looking skyward with eyes that said “why the fuck am I in Hawaii?”
• girl in aggressively-inappropriate bikini at supermarket, her boobs spilling out onto the tray she was holding, trying to give everyone samples of Sugar Blast Crunch cereal
• pancake aisle had three syrups: coconut, pineapple, and coconut-pineapple
• my awesomepants daughter watched the Heels outlast Miami, then played soccer with Noah
tomorrow: the Big Island!