i got your slippery slope right here


I know, I know, I should never poke my head out of my self-imposed Indefinite News Media Blackout, but occasionally there’s something that leaps out at you, like those Amazonian water snakes that jump into your willy-hole. Case in point: Rick Santorum.

I hate having that sanctimonious cockfarthing on my website, but the way he calls Obama a “snob” in this video makes me so violently angry that I can’t help sharing:

It’s so rich on so many levels that its hard to know where to begin, but let’s just start here: Republicans, how are you letting this fuckin’ imbecile get so far into the process? I said it when John McCain chose Sarah Palin as a running mate, but the Republicans are doing it again: they’re letting a blithering moron far too close to the office of the Presidency. Most bars have a bouncer to weed out the obvious crazies before they take a shit on the pool table; why doesn’t the G.O.P.?

The “snob” comment reeks of so many kinds of cynicism, but I doubt Santorum has the faculties to parse them. In its simplest form, it’s just the usual “fuck you” to science, experts, research, facts and everything else that keeps civilization functional, all in a blatant appeal to the Average Guy. It’s meant to condition all simple-minded folk to blame smart people for their problems (and in Santorum’s weltanschauung, “smart” is synonymous with “Godless”).

In a slightly more complicated cynicism, the comment states basic Republican dogma: I got mine, you can eat shit. Santorum has a degree from Penn State, and two from Pitt – and hey, somebody gotta water his lawn. You’d think this message of self-lesserment would seem nonsensical to that workin’-class crowd in Michigan, but Republican lemmings have never found a burning building too small to jump into.

In fact, they love it when Santorum or Gingrich or any other assclown gets up and says something downright cruel or racist or stupid – which is why these politicians always double down when they get criticized. These G.O.P. birther dittoheads always mistake self-confidence for profundity, and noise for relevancy.

It has led to one of the worst traits in modern culture, right up there with snark – the “brazening out” of your lowest behavior. I’ll call it The Brazen™ for short.


The Brazen asks nothing of you except your worst. It allows you to continue your life of denial, and it guarantees your cooler head will never prevail. With The Brazen, you can say whatever you want, and when questioned, you can always answer with a variation of “YEAH, I SAID IT. I’LL SAY IT AGAIN. I’LL SAY SOMETHING WORSE. SO FUCK YOU.”

When dialogue goes into The Brazen, it never comes back, and if you try to use reason, you’ve already lost. The Republicans know two things: using The Brazen makes voters hate a Government the conservatives want destroyed anyway; and whether you win or lose, The Brazen moves the goal posts further into CrazyTown.

As such, I’ll try to be succinct and honest. Rick Santorum, I find you creepy and scary and stupid and you’re an asshole and you need to go away, and stay gone.

0 thoughts on “i got your slippery slope right here

  1. heikewrites

    Thank you for this! just THANK YOU. and i hate to ask this of you, but could you come out of the “self-imposed Indefinite News Media Blackout” for the rest of the year please?! because your voice is so needed and so important and you have this way with words..!

  2. Joanna

    Laughing at the pool table line! And the next paragraph reminded me of this:
    “There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there has always been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that “my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.”
    ― Isaac Asimov

  3. Amy S.

    The “snob” line is, indeed, stupid. But I found myself cringing most at two other things in the video: (1) the old-whiteness of the audience, and (2) the bit celebrating remaking your children in your image. Creepy.

  4. John

    I still feel that when the main GOP convention occurs the “wise” elders in the party will throw both Ricky and mittens overboard and appoint a surprise as the nominee..Initials are J.B. ( I just puked a little in my mouth just writing the initials!!..eerp) Not wishful thinking on my part for what its worth ( I am a “recovered” Rethuglican)


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