Does anyone know a good joke? If someone held a crossbow to my head and demanded a joke, I have exactly ONE (1) joke in my arsenal, only because I heard my dad tell it at a dinner party around 1979. Here it is:
Jesus is nailed to the cross, crying out. Mary Magdalene looks up to him and says, “What can we do, my Lord?”
“Peter… Peter…” is all she hears Jesus say. Then John the Evangelist joins Mary Magdalene and asks, “My Lord, what can we do to ease your suffering?”
“Peter! Peter!” Jesus says, so John bids the witnesses to summon Peter, who had already denied Jesus after the Last Supper. With his head bowed and contrite, Peter comes to the crucifix.
“Peter! Peter! Come here!” Jesus says.
“Yes, my Lord,” he responds, and comes to Jesus’ feet.
“Peter-” Jesus says, his voice parched from thirst.
“Yes, my Lord?”
“I can see your house from here.”
You really do have to imagine my dad – the symphony conductor – telling it to a rapt group of orchestra musicians and board members after a half-bottle of Cabernet to get the full effect.
And I just looked, and apparently that joke is 163,000 other places on the internet – oh THANK YOU KNOW-IT-ALL INTERNET. But it remains the only one I can ever recall, and I supposedly write (among other things) comedies for a living.
So I put it to you? Do you know an actual story-based joke? No knock-knocks, or childish puns, mind you. Just a good simple set-up and punchline?