the gospel according to st. dick




1 Now the LORD looked down upon the United States and saw two men who clamored to be chiefs of that tribe.

2 The first was kind and justly, but the other was a Beguiler in the eyes of the LORD God. Though this charlatan was but pharisaical of mouth, he was black of heart.

3 So that all Mankind could see the Beguiler doth shrink by comparison, the LORD called forth winds from the tropics:

4 And these winds began to swirl, and the LORD God said, I call your name Sandy, and ye shall head north into tribal lands:

5 Whereupon many will suffer, yet many more will awake.

6 And when they doth countenance the two men, they will see one chief who worked so that others may be fruitful:

7 And they will also see the Beguiler, who spake of shutting down FEMA and handing it to the private sector.

8 Indeed, sayeth the LORD, this Dissembler is in sore surfeit of the one blessing Adam took from the Garden – empathy.

9 If it cannot be counted in shekels and silver, the Oily Prevaricator doth lack all understanding. He lieth with a smile; he concealeth a wolf’s cruelty with sheepish concern.

10 ‘Twas never nature’s intention to let the meek disinherit the earth, spake the LORD God at last, and mankind only gets nearer to Me when the least of them feels not alone:

11 I may help those who help themselves, but this Mitt Romney character is a sad, ridiculous embarrassment.





0 thoughts on “the gospel according to st. dick

  1. John Galt

    Oh, I get it… You’re trying to bad mouth Romney… You had me going there for a while. I thought sure you were describing Obama, what with the oily lies and black heart and all.
    Don’t give up your day job; you’d make a lousy prophet.

  2. kent

    @John Galt, neither should you give up your day job. Unless your day job is being paid by the Heritage Foundation and the Petroleum Institute to snipe at liberal blogs.
    How long will it be before Romney comes out and says he never said he wanted to get rid of FEMA?
    Whatever your feelings about his politics, Barack Obama is by far the most straightforward and honest of the politicians I’ve seen in my lifetime. If you chose to believe the right wing conspiracy theories that’s your damage.
    Of course anyone calling himself ‘John Galt’ is already addicted to the most pernicious of right wing fantasies. Anyone whose enthusiasm for Ayn Rand survives their 21st birthday is an object of pity in my estimation.
    Ayn Rand’s philosophy reminds me a lot of cocaine, which I’ve always thought was a drug whose principal effect was to make assholes feel good about themselves.

  3. Mac Daddy

    Actually, Mr. Galt, I would submit that you don’t get it. Not even a little. I Shrug in your general direction.

  4. Bob

    Time to haul out that old chestnut:
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year-old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.” – John Rogers

  5. John Galt

    > Whatever your feelings about his politics, Barack Obama is by far the most straightforward and honest of the politicians I’ve seen in my lifetime.
    I had to check my calendar to make sure it wasn’t April Fools’ Day… Seriously? You people consider Obama to be honest and straightforward? What alternate reality do you live in?
    I’ll just leave this right here. Enjoy, kids.

  6. kent

    @John Galt “What alternate reality do you live in?”
    The one where everything that George W. Bush said was either nonsense or a lie. “We don’t torture” meaning “we subcontract out our torturing the the pros in Egypt.”


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