the maple wears a gayer scarf



Why, did I hear somebody say they wanted more time-lapse photography? Perhaps the leaves changing from verdant summer into a crackling gold-orange-red autumn?

Sure, there are videos like this one, taken this year in Central Park:

But you come here for the real sweep of nature’s majesty. You know, like my most boring winter time-lapse ever, or perhaps the summer where nothing happened. Yes, you want nature unfiltered, and apparently, unmoving.

So, on Labor Day I set up the time-lapse camera across the street from our house, and left it up for three months, hoping to catch the splendor of the Berkshires. On Thanksgiving, I brought it down, and eagerly downloaded the movie. And, my riveted audience, it did not disappoint.

Seems that almost instantly, the camera had jolted out of position and pointed downward and toward the neighbors. Better yet, in early November, a bird shat on the lens!

Let’s not delay any further. May I present to you: The Worst Time-Lapse Movie of Autumn’s Changing Colors You’ll Ever See! It’s eight seconds, but it’ll feel like 70!

“He’s outdone himself – the fruit tree snooze-fest was bad, but this shatters records for tedium” – Kansas City Star

“…how can so many sunny days strung together beget such sadness?” – Moncton Free Press

“the visual equivalent of zero Kelvin” – Garden & Gun Magazine


8 thoughts on “the maple wears a gayer scarf

  1. chip

    I know it doesn’t seem like a very good video but I understand the bird refused to break character for the entire shoot and would only eat birdseed and travel via flight. That must be why the crap looks so authentic.

  2. Kathy

    Ian, I am always so impressed with your endeavors. You’ve at least tried, and your resulting post made me laugh out loud. It reminds me of trying a new recipe that turns out badly, so much effort and excitement all for naught. (insert inspiring quote about failure here)


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