Oh fer chrissake, okay. I’m helpless against the meme onslaught. Personally, I can’t believe my “26/52 Address Book meme™ didn’t take off like frickin’ wildfire – that should be spreading around the nation like a stomach virus. Ah well. Here goes:
1. I started violin at six because my dad (a symphony conductor) said that there are only one or two clarinet players or trombonists in an orchestra, and violinists always get work.
2. Every part of this sentence is true: I erected a baffle on our suet feeder, and got a Hairy Woodpecker. Insert quotation marks wherever you like.
3. Learned drums in 2006 so I could play “Day Tripper” at the Jartacular, which still hasn’t happened.
4. In 1981, made my longest ham radio contact – Cedar Rapids, IA to Central America – with a 40m dipole antenna of my own construction.
5. In 1988, became the social chairman at my fraternity and mixed with the Chi O’s, the Kappas, the Pi Phis, the KDs, the ADPi’s and the Tri-Delts. Take THAT, 1981!
6. Played my Rickenbacker bass for the recording session over Thanksgiving (the same one we used, Schultz!)
7. At my second week at Carolina, got lost en route from Lewis Dorm to Hinton James, and ended up in the forest behind the old Tin Can.
8. Was on then-President Clinton’s executive book list for 1994 with “Next: Young American Writer’s on the New Generation” – with an article about why we hate Baby Boomers.
9. Worked as an intern on the film “Pump Up the Volume” in 1990, and got so drunk at the release party that I was dumped unconscious in a parking lot in Pasadena.
10. Was once up 16-0 on Chip Chapman during one of our epic one-on-one hoops battles – and still managed to lose. Used the misery of that defeat to practice so hard for the next ten years that I almost never lost again. That and Chip ate too many Hardee’s Sausage Biscuits on his commute to work.
11. Met my future wife when she was a freshman at Carolina; she showed up to a book salon, having just won the fake Dating Game in front of 500 undergrads at Granville Towers.
12. My favorite islands:
with more than 50 million people: The United Kingdom
with more than 5 million people: Long Island
with more than 50,000 people: Prince Edward Island
with more than 50 people: Monhegan Island
13. Favorite Carolina player: Rasheed Wallace and Tyler Hansbrough (tie)
14. Been to every home Dook game since the first game played in the Dean Dome in 1986. All goes as planned, this March will be my 24th game in a row.
15. During the height of the “Wednesday’s Child” mania at Carolina, a guy at Molly McGuire’s told me that I was “known as being really fun to meet the first time, but ultimately disappointing after that.” Spent every year since that moment working to make that not true.
16. Have a daughter named Lucy, who apparently sang the “My name is Stegosaurus, I’m a funny-looking dinosaur” song in front of her whole preschool this morning, and just the thought of it makes me cry.
17. My family gets the croup. Those who have had it know what that means.
18. Was born two weeks early, commonly referred to as “the last time I was early for something”
19. Have had to basically eradicate three things from my diet that I love: coffee, oatmeal and granola.
20. Was accidentally booked as a “motivational speaker” during a book tour for “13th-GEN” and decided, well, fuck it, and gave a motivational speech to a packed auditorium. Actually got a standing ovation. Been unmotivated to speak on the subject again
21. Despised golf until taken golfing by Jamie Block in 2004 – chipped in a 35-foot wedge shot, and have been chasing that elusive high ever since
22. Written 882 entries on these pages, and as of today, have 18,784 comments.
23. Visited a remote Kikuyu village in Kenya when I was 16, and the children had never seen red hair before. They pretty much thought I was the most unpleasantly bizarre thing they’d ever seen.
24. Came in 3rd at the Rubik’s Cube Solving Contest, Military Circle Mall, June 1981.
25. Actual text of the first email I ever sent:
Date: Wed, 23 Jun 1993 00:10:38 +0501 (EDT)
From: Ian Williams (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Subject: jellyfish sandwiches
To: T. Long (email@example.com)
For the Budster, I would recommend a strong “chemical diet” of various pharmaceutical products designed to keep him feeling “happy” and “silently curious.”
My fee will be in the mail.
-Dr. Dickie Goodster, M.D.
Bud, what the hell were we doing?
As for the rest of you, you’re off the hook. You need only provide THREE things about you, in the comments below!